I’m feeling the connection


I was reading about the sage in Mexico Valley, about how an entire field is actually a single plant and works together as a single plant. It appears that there are many bushes in the valley, yet hidden from the eye beneath the earth the roots are all connected. The experience of one part of this sage plant is shared to some degree by all the other parts of the plant.

Sage field
Sage field

The full sage plant has the power to change the acidity of the soil in a way that assures its survival, and in doing the sage provides us humans with some of the oxygen that we need for our survival.

I was struck by the fact that what I saw with my eyes at first glance missed an essential reality about the sage plant. When I grasped that, my mind quickly moved on to considering that all people on Earth are connected in a similar way. What we do in our lives has an effect and influence on others, even though we tend to believe that we are separate from one another with whatever we are experiencing.

At times I want to start worrying about everyday details of my life. Like all of us, there are plans to make, family to consider, and bills to pay. But then I remind myself that I am part of a bigger whole, the human community. My mind calms down when I remember that reality.

Just as the sage does, each of us has the power individually and collectively to change the world, and to find support in the world. Is there a need to choose worry and sadness? I don’t think so.

I feel both more empowered and more at peace when I see myself as part of the larger human community. I enjoy the reality that each of us is full of connection to and from others, although sometimes we need to choose which connections to emphasize in life so we receive enough support for our growth.

Let’s try thinking and acting with awareness of our connectedness. For me, such an awareness feels more fulfilled and less prone to anxiety than seeing myself as isolated, which is not even a reality.

What do you think?

This Colorful, Connected Life


On a recent morning, I went into the city for a very early client meeting. I rarely make a trip into Manhattan at rush hour, and it was so exciting to be among all the commuters. The crowds everywhere, people hurrying this way and that, the commotion: everything felt so alive (even the people who were sleeping on their way to work).

I absolutely loved it. I might feel different if I did it every day. I was looking at everything with a beginner’s mind, meaning that it all appeared fresh and new.

After I got off of the Long Island Railroad, I had to take the subway. I ran down the subway stairs and saw an open train door, so I jumped in.

Suddenly, I had the feeling that I was on the wrong train.

“Is this the E?” I asked the people next to me. We were squished together so tightly that it was impossible for someone not to hear my question.

“No, this is the C,” a couple of them replied.

“Oh, no!” I said.

But then a few people chimed in: “I’ve been there. I’ve done that, myself.”

Before I knew it, we had started a real conversation inside this crowded subway train.

Deciding to just be myself, I said to them, “Now you’re all going to be my angels. You’re going to tell me how to get where I need to go.”

And they loved it! I mean, who talks about angels on a crowded subway train in the middle of morning rush hour?

They all chipped in and gave me directions, and we had a great conversation. One gentleman who was getting off at the same stop took me to the right platform and showed me which side was the correct one to wait for the E train.

When I got on the E train, I had a different experience. Instead of hearing angelic, helpful voices, I heard yelling. A man and a woman were screaming at each other, with her accusing him of touching her, and him accusing her of potentially being a pickpocket. Then another man joined in, telling the woman to be quiet, and she started arguing with him. The other people on the train were annoyed or trying not to pay attention.

Tulips on Park Avenue
Tulips on Park Avenue

As for me, I just observed the scene. When the train arrived at my stop, I noticed that the woman was getting off, too. I thought to myself, “Do I say something to her, or not?”

Then she and I saw one another. I looked into her eyes and said, “Just breathe, sweetie.”

Looking directly into my eyes, she replied quietly, “Yes, I know. I just need to breathe.”

I stepped outside, and it was raining and a bit dark. As I walked from the train station to Park Avenue I was struck with all its beautiful buildings and expansiveness — and the road dividers were covered in tulips, and the trees were blooming pink.

Even in the gloom, there is so much color. I was thrilled with the richness of life.

What’s colorful in your life today? Tell me on my Facebook page.

Success is a Shared Endeavor


In the past, I never asked for help or support. I thought I was so strong, and I believed I could do everything myself – that I needed to do everything myself.
But life pushed me out of my comfort Lavenderzone. I didn’t like it. I felt shameful that I had to ask other people for help.

Then I learned to ask … and I received.

When I saw that people could support me in ways I never knew were possible, another door opened for me. I saw that I wasn’t alone.

I recently attended an event in California where the leader was offering another program that required a $1,000 deposit. The leader asked if anyone had any questions about it.

A woman in the audience raised her hand and was invited to go up on stage, where she said, “You’ve already taken my money for this program, and I don’t have the money for the next one. I am a single mom, and now you want more money from me, and I don’t have it.”

The leader said, “Can you create it?”

And the woman said, “No. I’m already working two jobs.”

The leader asked her, “Who can you ask for help?”

“No one,” she answered. “I have to do this all on my own. I can’t ask for help. I will never ask for help.”

At that moment, another woman in the audience of 400 women stood up and said, “Why don’t you ask for help from us?”

Before I knew it, everyone got up from their seats and gave her cash on the spot, until there was $4,000 on the stage. Four hundred strangers were blessing her and helping her.

This woman’s life changed forever, all because she raised her hand. She will never be the same.

And after witnessing this, I will never be the same, either.

It is amazing what’s out there that we never ask for.

What would you want to ask for? Tell me on my Facebook page.

3 Steps to Refocus and Recharge Your Life


sports carHow many things do you have to do today, this week, this month? If you’re like most people, your life is filled with lots of tasks, and often not much else.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

I believe it’s partly because it’s a lot easier for most people to “do” than to “be.” We are proud of the length of our “to-do” list. The longer it is, the better person we are — or so our culture says.

At the end of the day, though, we’re always left with more to do.

People are not taught to stop and ask, “What do I want? What is my desire?”

Because then we’re labeled as selfish. So in our culture, if you think of yourself first, you’re selfish. To counteract that, you start giving to others as another form of doing. But where are you giving from? From fullness, or from depletion?

What you focus on, expands.

Your ability to give and to accomplish your goals will multiply, once you begin focusing more on yourself – on being instead of doing.

Here’s a little formula you can use, which I call the “AAA Formula”:

1. Awareness: Stop and be willing to look at yourself.
2. Acceptance: Accept whatever comes to the surface when you look at yourself.
3. Action: Then — and do this only after awareness and acceptance — take inspired action, which will take you toward what you want to create.

We need to be willing to stop the car, step out and get a new view. If you keep pressing the gas pedal, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Ferrari, it’s going to burn out. It needs to be maintained in order to be a safe ride.

It’s not enough to just drive the Ferrari and get to the end of the road. We also have to learn how to enjoy the ride: look at the scenery, feel the steering wheel, admire the instrument panel. Because wherever you go, you take yourself with you.

What did you read in this article that resonated with you? Please share your thoughts on my Facebook page.

Prioritize Yourself, and Ease Will Follow


person looking out at waterA while back, a gentleman came to me for coaching whom we’ll call Bill. Bill had been having panic attacks and was so overwhelmed, he didn’t know what to do. No matter how many hours he worked, it didn’t make a difference in his “to do” list. There was always more and more to do, and it was causing him a lot of anxiety.

As we talked, I saw that Bill had lost his focus. I told him that unless he put himself as the top priority, nothing else would get done in a satisfactory way.

What does it mean to make ourselves the top priority?

For Bill, it means that in the morning, he’ll do whatever he is called to do to center himself. It might be meditation, exercise, and reading.

Once he feels centered, he can look at his “to do” list and choose to do the three most impactful items, and only those three items. The rest? Let them go, cross them off or delegate them.

Just by doing those simple things to prioritize himself over everything else, Bill doubled and then tripled his income and began ending his work day two hours earlier. He is now on the elliptical machine 45 minutes a day and meditating daily, as well. The panic attacks and anxiety have eased off considerably. And as well-being increases, Bill can offer more of himself, more openly, to other people in his life.

Have you lost sight of yourself at times? What change, big or small, can you make now to shift some attention back onto what’s most important—meaning you?

I want to support you in prioritizing the most important person in your life. You.

To resolve or not to resolve: that is the question!


Are you ready with your resolutions or are you one of the many people who have given up on resolutions because they just get the same dissatisfying results every year?

Why not approach this year a little differently?

New Year's resolutionsWhat if you focus on resolutions that harmonize with and support your truest values, instead of focusing on creating outward results? Take a moment to reflect: what would that feel like?

Maybe it is time to try a different approach.

The best order to create positive changes in your life is to use the BE, DO, HAVE model, a well-established approach toward fulfillment, in the personal growth community. That is, this year instead of thinking of what you want to do in 2016, think of who you want to be and what that means to you.

Let’s look at this with an example, one of the most popular resolutions, which is “I will start exercising!”

Old model:

DO: I will start to exercise, so
HAVE: I can feel fit, and then
BE: I can be healthy

This year change the order and use the New Model:

BE: I choose and want to take care of myself, including my physical self, as a healthy expression of self, so
DO: I exercise, and then
HAVE: My body is fit and I feel good

Learning effective resolution-setting strategies can ensure that this year will be your best year ever. That is important!

Is It Stress or Is It Passion?


Think about this for a minute:

Stress headacheWorking hard for something you don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something you care about is called passion.

When you can understand and define your core values and link them to your daily activities, you feel satisfied and achieve more.

Your values influence what you do, how you think and how you feel about the world around you. Acting on your values changes the way you experience the world, and the way the world experiences you.

Dance passionKnowing your values also enables you to understand what emotions drive and motivate you and clarifies what goals you may want to achieve in life.

Once clear on your values, you can make informed life changes – because you’ll be able to choose roles, activities and people that support and enhance your values – and avoid those that contradict them.

I recommend that you take some time to ponder on this (especially right before the new year!)

The Force Awakens: The Hero’s Journey


You have probably heard that “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” is coming to the theaters in December. You may remember the famous opening text, “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….”

Tildet speaks about meditationWhat if that galaxy is not far away, and exists within you? What if by connecting to it, you “awaken the force” within?

What if you could listen to a different voice, the voice of your true self, not the voice of your limited mind? You could embark on what Joseph Campbell calls “the hero’s journey”. The hero in this case is you, and the journey is the path of your life.

The Stars Wars epic models the hero’s journey, as seen in the first-released movie with the Luke’s and Han’s calls to action, the path to the destruction of the “Death Star”, and finally the triumphant return of the fighters. However, the remoteness of the imagery of a science fiction mythology from our own everyday lives obscures for us writer/director/producer George Lucas’ intended meaning.

What is life but a prolonged effort to find the most meaning, connection and success? Imagine living your highest and best life (with some guidance and support along the way). You can awaken “the force” through your meditation practice and other awareness practices. Meditation and awareness practices are the conduits that enable us to connect with the inspiration of our own hero’s journey. As you awaken to your true self, worry and doubts diminish, leading to a richer quality of life, for you and for those around you. We can all participate in this epic, in our own hero’s journey.

1 2 3 4