We all get triggered.
It’s part of being human.

Maybe it’s a sharp tone from a colleague.
An unexpected decision from a business partner.
A family member who knows exactly which button to press.

Before we even realize it, our heart rate spikes, our thoughts race, and suddenly, the calm leader we meant to be is nowhere to be found.

But here’s the truth: being triggered isn’t a sign of weakness - it’s a sign of care.
We react strongly because something we value feels at risk.
Respect. Belonging. Being heard.

When we can see triggers that way, everything changes.

The Power of Naming What’s Beneath the Surface

At a recent event with the Queens Chamber of Commerce, we explored this exact idea - how to stay calm, clear, and connected in the moments that matter most.

The room got quiet when I said, “We’re not triggered by people. We’re triggered by what they represent to us in that moment.”
A few heads nodded slowly. Others smiled, realizing they’d lived that truth a hundred times.

When we take a breath and ask, “What feels threatened right now?” we begin to see the deeper layer.
Instead of blame or shame, compassion returns.
Presence returns.

That’s the inner work that makes outer peace possible.

Try This: The “Name It to Tame It” Practice

The next time you feel yourself reacting, try this four-step process:

1. Pause. Take one deep breath before saying anything.
   
   
2. Name the feeling. “I feel frustrated.” “I feel unseen.”
   
   
3. Ask what value is being poked. Is it respect? Safety? Recognition?
   
   
4. Respond from intention, not emotion. Choose the tone that reflects who you want to be.
   
   

It only takes seconds - but it can change the direction of a whole conversation.

Why It Matters

In my work with family businesses, this is often the missing piece.
When people can regulate, reflect, and reconnect, communication improves, relationships strengthen, and decisions become clearer.

Peace at the table and profits to the balance sheet start with this kind of self-awareness.
Because business health begins with emotional health.

Keep the Momentum Going

If this message resonates, I explore these insights even deeper in my new book:

📘 The Thriving Family Business: Celebrating Peace at the Table and Profits to the Balance Sheet
Now available at www.tildet.com/book.

It’s a practical, heartfelt guide for families and leaders who want to build success without losing connection - one honest conversation at a time.