Last week I was taking a series of online trainings in order to improve the range of what I can offer to my clients, as well as to better manage my business. After several days of this, I found myself feeling sad, and struggled with that sensation for two days. That uncomfortable experience forced me to slow down and reflect, and as I reflected I gradually realized that I had been trying to follow others’ strategies and approaches that were more aggressive and “external” than the approach which I prefer.
I was losing myself and my own spontaneity by trying to achieve goals that were not in alignment with my own values. That realization helped me shift into a more positive and empowered state of mind, with connection to who I am and to my values. With my authenticity restored, I could resume effectively doing the work I enjoy so much — helping my clients to find more well-being and build stronger relationships, as well as to enjoy more success in their work lives.
What would happen if we always stayed in touch with our own sense of satisfaction and spontaneity as a guideline of what is healthy and safe for us? Let me make an analogy. Suppose we are in a thick forest — the forest of life. In the forest, there are a variety of trails. When we walk on the trail we choose, we can advance ourselves towards our destination. When we leave our trail for whatever reason, we are slowed down, struggle to move, and can feel lost. Hopefully we realize this, and find our way back to a trail to advance with freedom again!
To complete the analogy, if we have completely lost track of all the trails, we may need help from someone who is familiar with the forest, to help us find and stay on the trail that we want to follow. Usually we leave “the trail” because we think someone else, from our past or our present, has a better approach to being happier, having a better relationship, being wiser, or making more money.
When I ask my clients and others, “What do you want most in this world?” the answer I always receive is a variation of approval, attention, love, and fitting in. And when I ask, “What’s holding you back from being you?”, the answers are based on the same reasons, that is, “What if I am rejected for who I am?”
Because of the fear of rejection, because of that fear of not fitting in, because of thinking “what if I don’t get what I want from others”, at times we start holding back, and becoming second best to ourselves. It is easier for us to accept being rejected for who we are not than to be rejected for who we really are.
But let’s turn things around, because what you are and what you are here to give to the world is unique to you. I think we are all unique men and women, capable of giving birth. At all times we are giving birth to different expressions, different needs, different contributions in the world. In whatever area that is: as a plumber, as a doctor, as a knowledge worker, as a painter, as a teacher, as an entrepreneur.
So what would help us to freely express ourselves? One of the things I can offer is this question: what if we stopped comparing ourselves to others? What if we ranked ourselves and our success based on how we feel? What if we focused on the satisfaction factor, an inner signal that we all have.
One of the most asked questions I have is how to feel balance and satisfaction. People may have “success”, or not, but there is something missing. And I think what is missing is the true birth of ourselves that we are here to give. One way to achieve that is to follow our hearts in each action, and each word, fearlessly fighting to express our most authentic selves. Imagine how the world would be if we all could offer the world the gifts we have inside.
When we come face-to-face with ourselves, loving and embracing the person we meet, instead of focusing on the messages telling us that we are not good enough or should not be who we are, a whole new level of freedom happens.
The key ingredient to your well-being and success lies in your ability to embrace your authenticity. The world needs the authentic you!